THE UNKNOWN + SCARPER! UK TOUR 2000

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The Unknown/Scarper UK Tour starring...
Aston Stephens
as the mild mannered, Boss T creator of all the madness.		 Ken Blaze
as the chronically ill redbulled singer.		 Chris Roscoe
as one of the "Oh Boy brothers."		 Wayne Roscoe
as one of the "Oh Boy brothers."		 Brian P. McCafferty
as the Big Arse.		 Russell Remains
as the skinny little Brit with a stinky arse.		 Anthony Patrick MacDonald
as....Mac.		 Kirstie
as the singing pixie trumpeteer.		 Micha
as the accident prone bassman.		 Matthew Slater
as the British "Oh Boy" brother.		 Monk Dave
as the Gay Elf.

Day 1: July 5-6th, 2000
"UK here we come!"

Well at last the day finally came. After about 7 months of preparations that included recording a new CD, planning and coordinating schedules with Boss Tuneage and the bands, and getting all the dates sorted out out, we finally were ready to leave good ole Cleveland, OH.
This was the first time that Ken would ever travel overseas. Brian, Wayne and Chris had all been somewhere else before (Brian; Ireland, Wayne and Chris; Japan of course). So this was a new experience for one of us and a real big step for the band in general. Never had we even dreamed of playing a show in London, let alone a whole tour of England! So we arrived at the airport and got all registered in, and we waited. This was the beginning of a day that wouldn't end until we drove up to Aston Stephens' flat at nearly 10am London time (5am Cleveland time).

At promptly 3pm July 5th we headed off to Toronto aboard Air Canada. The flight was a quick 45 minutes and was a pale comparison to the 7 hours we would spend on the next flight to Heathrow Airport. That was how we spent the majority of the day. Flying. The flight went well, Chris got to carry his guitar on the plane (which was a pleasant surprise), we saw two movies (Drowning Mona, Chinatown) and had two good meals. Brian somehow lost his seat between Cleveland and Toronto and as we were getting on the London flight they delayed him for a while saying his seat was gone....it was weird...A funny thing happened as we landed. One of the flight attendants didn't secure a cabinet and as we landed and hit the breaks, a roll of toilet paper fell out of the cabinet and rolled all the way down the aisle as we came to a halt in London. It was a nice moment to end the long vigorous flight. And after our colossal 10 hour or so journey (but that's not as long as it is to Japan....), we finally got off the plane.

So we were there. London England. Now to get in the country without a hassle. Before we left, Aston from our label Boss Tuneage, had prepared work permits for us to enter the country without any hassles. And for the most part we didn't have any problems. We had lots of questions as to what band we were in cause I guess we looked like a band (Chris carrying a guitar and Wayne a snare probably helped too). And except for Wayne leaving his work permit in his luggage where he couldn't get at it, we got into England with no problem. The next step was to find the luggage, and more importantly find Aston. We had never met Aston face to face and I was hoping to find him easily from the picture he had sent us. We got our luggage (no problems there except for them thinking Brian's bass was a gun), exchanged our money and we went off to find the Boss T man.
We found Aston amidst the millions at Heathrow very easily. We said our hellos and we were off to the van. The ride back to Aston's flat is all but a vague memory. We were all frazzled from the trip and it was no early morning in the UK whereas it was the middle of the night for us. None of us has slept on the plane and no way were we going to sleep now. We got into London and went to Aston's flat (we met Jasmine, his cat) to get settled and take a walk to meet our next Brit of the trip. Monk Dave, co-coordinator of the UK magazine FRACTURE, was going to be coming along on the tour as well, and we needed to go and meet him at a local coffee shop before we headed to HULL for the first gig.

So we sat in Cafe Nero, met a girl from Utah, Aston opened som email and got som emailorder money! (see pic) and waiting for Monk. Of course his train was delayed from Wales and he was way late but we finally met up and we got our arses in gear for the 3 hour trip to HULL.

Day 1 Part 2. Hull, @ THE ADELPHI.
"Frazzled"

So the 6 of us drove up to HULL with all of the Boss Tuneage merchandise from Aston that we would be selling on the tour. The drive up was filled with new British terminology and new things.There were cows everywhere. We drove to the flat of Russell Remains, the main man behind FRACTURE and guitarist in Scarper, the support band for the tour. Hull was the first show because it was a good staring point to meet up with the Scarper gang. Ken had known Russell for a few years thru the mail and the fact that Russell did the Dreyfus Garbage Day 7" on his label Pigdog.
We drove over to the Adelphi and got familiar with what would be our first UK venue. It was a small, cozy, kinda neighborhood pub with a punk rock feel to it. It was basically 2 flats combined together into a stage and bar area. There would be only 2 bands tonight, Scarper and us. We set up the gear with Scarper and got familiarized with the equipment we would be using for the tour. Scarper is a five piece band; 2 guitars, bass, drums, 4 vocals, and a trumpet.We figured out all was well and the equipment would be great for the trip. Wayne brought along his snare drum and stand and that was the only gear we had besides guitars that was our own. Wayne was lucky to bring it because otherwise he would have been screwed.

We spent the rest of the night getting to know the Scarper clan. There was Russell the guitarist who wouldn't sing and who had the most stereotypical British accent of them all. Kirstie the trumpet player, girlfriend to Russell and just plain cool as girls go. Mac the guitarist-lead singer who would be the goofiest of all the bunch especially when he was drunk. Matt the drummer who was an instant best friend and had a quick bond to Wayne (drummers are like that). And Micha the bass player who had the thickest of accents but was way cool as well.It was hard to gauge them all in one night, but we would soon learn that these would be friends for life.

We took a break for a bite to eat and by the time we got back with our pizza and chips (fries) the Adelphi was about half full with the local Brits drinking their pints. The Clash's "Garage band" and the Damned's "Disco Man" were played over head by a DJ named Nigel with green-blue hair.The Beer of the Day (from here on in known as BOD) was Stella Artois. We thought it was funny that they had Rolling Rock in stock (Brian's fave). We had some Stella's and got seated for our first sounds of Scarper! Well we were pleasantly surprised let me tell you. Russ, Micha, Matt, Mac and Kirstie rocked out and put on a great show. They were basically a pop punk band with a trumpet player, yet they played no ska. It was AWESOME. We could tell this would be a good fit for the trip.

After Scarper was done, we got up and rocked out as hard as we ever did before. We had energy even though we hadn't slept for like 20 some hours. We were so pumped we had to give it our All. So with that, at about 10 pm HULL time, The Unknown took the stage for their first ever show overseas. It was fitting to pull out and old favorite (and one of Aston's favorites) for our first song.

The set was: NEVER BE THE SAME-LEAVE ME NOW-DISAPPEAR-PUZZLES-WHETHER-STARE-NEED-FEELINGS-SWITCH-LISTEN TO ME-ANNIE MAE-YOU MIGHT THINK-SELF CONTROL-HERE COMES THE SUMMER The crowd was very receptive. After each song everyone gave us a genuine round of applause and it was great. We ended up finishing the evening with an "encore" of sorts as the cheers and applause and kind gestures were much appreciated. We closed with the Undertones' Here Comes the Summer. It was awesome. We actually got some people to dance. We talked and hung out for the rest of the night and walked back to Russell's and Kirstie's flat (#69...hehehe) for our much needed first UK sleep.
Day 2: July 7th, 2000 Scunthorpe, @ LINCOLN IMP
"Nettles, Garages, pavement and petrol."

We awoke from our frozen slumber (it was freeeeeeezing in Northern England) and reveled in the fact that we only had a half hour journey to our next city.....Scunthorpe. Before we split for the show, Matt, the drummer from Scarper, took the 4 of us on a journey to the nearby city of Beverly. We figured we would do the tourist thing for a bit since we had the time. Beverly was one of those quaint British towns that has been around fro like hundreds of years. We spent 3 or so hours there checking out everything from the streets, the people to the giant Beverly Minster. We had some good food (cheap too! 1 pound 35 for a prawn (shrimp) sandwich) and we went t shopping for whatever caught our eyes. We did the postcard thing, got some clothes, etc etc etc.

Of course on the trip we had to stop at the garage (pronounced GARE-IDGE) and our learning of the "English" language continued on as it would for the whole trip throughout the British isle. Its amazing how many things are called different words in England. We ven passed a town called "Spitter-in-the-Street." We pulled off to the side of the road in Scunthorpe's outer limits and called the promoters for more directions and Scarper got a chance to kick the old soccer ball, er football, around. They had made it a point to bring a ball with them for the tour and we found out why as they are got crazy and played football on the side of the road. We also learned a new word as they played and kicked their ball into a pricker bush nearby .We drove into the village of Scunthorpe and it looked totally residential. But of course right ion the middle was the pub the Lincoln Imp. It was a cool little place with three different bars.

We got our first taste of a true English drunk as a guy walked in claiming to be a cop and proceeded to fall all over himself and try to get in for free.The girl working the door handled him well and he was no problem, just funny. It turned out that the show was going to be just us and Scarper again as the local band cancelled. Scarper turned in an excellent set for the second night in a row despite the small crowd (25 or so)
The Scunthorpe set was: LISTEN TO ME-NEVER BE THE SAME-LOOSE TRUKS-BEST FRIENDS-WHETHER-STARE-PUZZLES-ANOTHER VOICE-SWITCH-NEED TO KNOW-DISAPPEAR-SELF CONTROL-FOOL-LEAVE ME NOW The set was marred by a few difficulties. The guitar amp that Chris was using decided to just not be very loud. Plus Ken couldn't keep the microphone on either. It was an average night and we returned to Dave and Chris' house (the guys that put on the show) Chris is a Canadian native so it was cool to talk with him about the differences here and there. We spent the rest of the evening talking about stuff, playing Tony Hawk, watching some rap version of Spinal Tap and listening to a crazed vegan whom Monk had the "honor" to sleep with....hahahahaha.
Day 3: July 8th, 2000 Boston, INDIAN QUEEN
"Thought you all might be the kidnappers..."

We awoke to another freezing British morning and got ready for the journey with toast and coffee. We left Boston and headed to Spilsby to meet Aston's parents and drop of some gear for our stay there that night. At around halfway to Spilsby we were talking about the strict police in Lincolnshire county and how there was always the possibility of getting stopped. Sure enough not 5 minutes after Aston said those very words, Monk was saying "we've been pulled...." Great. We weren't doing anything wrong, except for the fact that Wayne, Chris and Ken we sitting in the back of the van that didn't have seats and in the UK that is illegal. So right away we knew we were in trouble for something. He was a nice old pig. We would've hidden from him if we thought it would have helped but there was no sense in being uncovered by a cop and seeming like we knew we were illegal. So he stops us and explains that there has been an abduction of a little girl in Essex. The girl was believed to have been taken in a blank white van with the back windows covered up. That was exactly the description of ours. Great. "So," he says, "Sit back and relax while we check you out." And while he's doing that he says, "Oh and I see we have a bit of a seating problem." Which was exactly what we didn't want to hear. After he took our names and residences, he gave Aston a verbal warning for the seating arrangements. He also gave us an incident number (#236 8/7/00) which we were to show to a policeman if we were stopped again for the same reason. We still wouldn't be cleared of the seating problem though....All Brian could think of as we were stopped was the Clash ..."I'm runnin police on my back..." But he was cool in the end even joking with us when we said the name of the band we were in was the Unknown. He said he didnt think that was such a good idea at which time Chris said "Well it worked for the Who.."

So with that we went off and on to Aston's parents in Spilsby. We arrived at the mecca in the country known as "Aston Firs" (the name of the house) and we relaxed with some sandwiches, butter rolls, cheese, tuna, salmon, salad, coleslaw, crisps, fizzy pop and strawberry cheesecake. We sat and chatted with Aston's parents for a while and then went off to Boston to load in to the Indian Queen.

The Indian Queen was an upstairs place smaller than the first two clubs. But it was here that we had the most fun on the trip so far. We finally got to see a couple of local bands as well. One was a Fat Wreck kinda thing and the other was more of a hardcore band. Scarper sounded better tonight than on the first two nights. And MAC had his chest licked by the kids!!! woohoo!!! We had a lot of kids still around for when we played and it really paid off. We had been playing Whether early on in the set and during that song Ken got hoisted into the air for at least 2 minutes of the song. It was a first for us to have the lead singer hoisted above the crowd during one of our songs....and they didn't even know the words! We loved it, it was funny as hell.
The Boston set was: NEVER BE THE SAME-DISAPPEAR-LEAVE ME NOW-SEEMS SO REAL-WHETHER-STARE-PUZZLES-HERE COMES THE SUMMER-ANOTHER VOICE-SWITCH-NEED TO KNOW-BLINK-BEST FRIENDS-SELF CONTROL-FRIEND OF MINE-BIFF THE CAT-LIES We also met Luke, a British punk that was totally way over the top. He fit the English stereotype of punks. He was the one that licked Mac's chest while Scarper was playing. He was the one that instigated Ken being lifted into the air as well. It was a great night. Hell we even heard more slang as when one of us was trying to go to the bathroom you could here "Look , someones locked 'imself in the shi'ouse!..." Yep, this was becoming a crazy trip. Aston sold a bunch of stuff and we stayed ahead money wise for the trip.

We all were really beginning to know each other and become friends. Brian made a few new friends as some guy from Portugal was seeing his first live band and loved every minute of it. He thought Brian was the coolest guy ever, he was a ROCKSTAR! Brian gave him a t-shirt and he was a happy dude. We packed up, finished our pints and went back to Aston Firs. Wayne, Ken, and Chris went back in Aston's dad's car to be safe from those damn coppers. We got back and showered for the first time since we got to the UK!!!!!! (we needed it too...) Aston's luxurious home provided us with all we needed (all 11 of us!). Penguin biscuits and Chocolates, Breakaways and weird Kit Kats were the treats awaiting us when we returned. So we were all having our treats and Chris decided to read one of the jokes on the Penguin wrappers: "How much will a penguin pay for his dinner?" Well the answer was, "6 squid."

We had been joking all day about how funny it was that another word for money in the UK was "Quid." And for anyone who know us, we had been joking and saying Squid all the time we were there. So hearing this stupid little joke sent us laughing uncontrollably for the next 10 minutes or so. We were in tears just from hearing that damn punchline. After we recovered we showered and hit the beds, couches and cots. We had to be on the road by 8 am the next morning to get to Winchester for the all day festival at the Railway Inn.

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